Letter to my daughter on her first period

Dear Daughter

I am happy to be by your side as you deal with an important milestone in your life with mixed emotions. Welcome to the lovely-ugly world of periods. Your monthly visitor will now keep coming to you around 360 times. It may visit you irregularly but will not leave you completely for the next 30 or so years. Now, that is really a pretty long time. So, it is always good to develop a working relationship with this monthly friend. The period will not miss visiting you on its own. But you may decide not to have it. This little friend is choosy and attention-seeking. It doesn't visit you when you love someone deeply and when you have a little permanent visitor inside you. It is during pregnancy and lactation that you will not have your periods. Apart from that, your monthly friend will pay its due visit diligently. Welcome it with joy every time.

We adjust a bit here and there when our loved ones visit us, don't we? This is because we cherish their company. Periods are also such normal yet precious visitors to us. You would need to adjust a bit when you are on your period. Little discomfort between two legs, some cramps in your tummy, a bag full of unknown mixed emotions in your heart, and a lot of churning in your mind. That's it.  I know, I know. It is too much to deal with. But I promise you that you will never be alone in dealing with any of them. We were there with you over the last thirteen years and will be there for thirty more. Your responsibility is to share with us all that you go through. Indicate to me that you have your periods, and I will be considerate of your needs and help you adjust to normal routines.

Menstruation is natural, and periods are normal. They are new to you, but not to the world. It keeps happening to most women, most of the time—all in rhythm and flow. Despite that, there are different taboos around it in different cultures. You may have come across some of them through your relatives and friends. I suggest you learn to deal with them without compromising your joy, comfort, and freedom. Let periods sit lightly on you. Don't make it a big deal, and don't allow others to make it too. Talk about it with your loved ones—family, friends, teachers, and cousins. Talk about it, especially with the boys and men in your life. Our culture has deprived our boys and men of an understanding of a woman's body and its functioning. As you talk about your body, heart, and mind with the boys and men in your life, you will understand each other better. Do not be shy about owning, accepting, and normalizing your periods, in particular, and your body, in general.

I am sure you must have written in your diary about today. Your diary is a treasure in itself. Keep adding to the wonderful things life has to offer you. At the same time, do not stop learning about the lives of the other less fortunate people around us. This will help us appreciate what we have. Few such things are menstrual hygiene through the use of sanitary materials during periods and the space and ability to talk about menstruation freely at home. We can understand and manage periods freely, and thus, we feel blessed. Mumma and I work with organizations and communities where girls find it difficult to talk about periods and manage them comfortably. Be sensitive towards such people at the margins and do your bit in ways you can, when you can.

Thank you for everything.

Love

Papa