About being a mentor

I have been using the facilitation
approach in my teaching for quite some time now.  I also use a similar approach as a mentor to
students who are allocated to me every year.  For the last two years, I have started student
mentorship by inviting senior batch students to help me and their juniors in the
ongoing modules.  The senior students
volunteer as per their choice of assessment methods in their choice of module.  They remain available to juniors for help in
various assignments, and to me for assessments thereof.  While student mentorship yields a certain
level of authority of senior students over the juniors, such involvements also come
with responsibilities towards - a) mentees, b) system, and c) self.  After
witnessing two batches of such inputs, I have certain observations and
suggestions for buddying mentors.

1. Facilitation generally does not have
a pre-decided agenda or a structure. Mentor’s inputs emerge from mentee’s
inputs.  Let the proactive topics for
discussion be minimum from the mentor’s side. Piggyback on existing discussions
even while sharing inputs for advancing the discussion.

2. Mentors are facilitators.  They simply guide.  They don’t advise; they suggest.  They don’t control; they persuade.  They don’t order; they request.  They don’t instruct; they encourage.

3. Mentors don’t try to impress their
mentees. They just express their thoughts
and sentiments. They remain available as and when needed.

4. While the mentors observe the
individuals and interpersonal dynamics in the group, they also observe
themselves. They watch out for the actions and reactions in the group and make
meanings out of them to make them available to the group.  At the same time, they do a lot more
reflections and thinking about themselves.  They watch out for their actions and reactions, and make meaning out of it to make the findings available to themselves to become
better at mentoring.

5. An important journey of mentoring is
within oneself.  It is always good to
keep asking oneself: Why do I mentor? Such inquiry is essential to check if the
sole purpose of mentoring is to feed into one’s ego or is it to learn
about self and others.  The process of
mentoring must not become a tool to satiate ego.

6. Mentoring is a collaborative effort.
 As a mentor, it is essential to create a
safe space for your mentees.  Language is
therefore very important in mentoring.  Learn the importance of and practice the use of phrases like: ‘please’, ‘you may want to’,
‘shall we, ‘I request’, ‘In my opinion, ‘If I were you, I would’, ‘Of many ways
to see things, one is to’ etc. 

7.  As a mentor, I don’t like
competition.  Watch out for signs of competition among
mentees.  Also, watch out for signs where you as a mentor
get into competition with your mentees.  Discourage
competition among mentees, and between yourself and your mentees.

8. Mentors are not teachers or tutors
or instructors.  Be very mindful of this.
 Try not to replicate your teachers.  Try not to replicate your mentors who acted as
teachers.  Step back. Move away, if needed, to move forward.  Watch
out.  Engage – Disengage - Engage again.

9. Do not give readymade answers.  Do not give mere information.  Do not give mere skills. Give your mentees ways to find information. Give them
ways to learn skills.  Do not answer all
their questions.  Encourage them to learn
to ask better and more questions.

10. Your mentees have their life and
priorities. You have yours.  What
you give them is there for you too.  Mentor
yourself.  Your efforts of mentorship must help you become
a better learner, in particular, and a better human being, in general.