About being a mentor

I have been using the facilitation approach in my teaching for quite some time now.  I also use a similar approach as a mentor to students who are allocated to me every year.  For the last two years, I have started student mentorship by inviting senior batch students to help me and their juniors in the ongoing modules.  The senior students volunteer as per their choice of assessment methods in their choice of module.  They remain available to juniors for help in various assignments, and to me for assessments thereof.  While student mentorship yields a certain level of authority of senior students over the juniors, such involvements also come with responsibilities towards - a) mentees, b) system, and c) self.  After witnessing two batches of such inputs, I have certain observations and suggestions for buddying mentors.

1. Facilitation generally does not have a pre-decided agenda or a structure. Mentor’s inputs emerge from mentee’s inputs.  Let the proactive topics for discussion be minimum from the mentor’s side. Piggyback on existing discussions even while sharing inputs for advancing the discussion.

2. Mentors are facilitators.  They simply guide.  They don’t advise; they suggest.  They don’t control; they persuade.  They don’t order; they request.  They don’t instruct; they encourage.

3. Mentors don’t try to impress their mentees. They just express their thoughts and sentiments. They remain available as and when needed.

4. While the mentors observe the individuals and interpersonal dynamics in the group, they also observe themselves. They watch out for the actions and reactions in the group and make meanings out of them to make them available to the group.  At the same time, they do a lot more reflections and thinking about themselves.  They watch out for their actions and reactions, and make meaning out of it to make the findings available to themselves to become better at mentoring.

5. An important journey of mentoring is within oneself.  It is always good to keep asking oneself: Why do I mentor? Such inquiry is essential to check if the sole purpose of mentoring is to feed into one’s ego or is it to learn about self and others.  The process of mentoring must not become a tool to satiate ego.

6. Mentoring is a collaborative effort.  As a mentor, it is essential to create a safe space for your mentees.  Language is therefore very important in mentoring.  Learn the importance of and practice the use of phrases like: ‘please’, ‘you may want to’, ‘shall we, ‘I request’, ‘In my opinion, ‘If I were you, I would’, ‘Of many ways to see things, one is to’ etc. 

7.  As a mentor, I don’t like competition.  Watch out for signs of competition among mentees.  Also, watch out for signs where you as a mentor get into competition with your mentees.  Discourage competition among mentees, and between yourself and your mentees.

8. Mentors are not teachers or tutors or instructors.  Be very mindful of this.  Try not to replicate your teachers.  Try not to replicate your mentors who acted as teachers.  Step back. Move away, if needed, to move forward.  Watch out.  Engage – Disengage - Engage again.

9. Do not give readymade answers.  Do not give mere information.  Do not give mere skills. Give your mentees ways to find information. Give them ways to learn skills.  Do not answer all their questions.  Encourage them to learn to ask better and more questions.

10. Your mentees have their life and priorities. You have yours.  What you give them is there for you too.  Mentor yourself.  Your efforts of mentorship must help you become a better learner, in particular, and a better human being, in general.