Self-Belief and Humility: Revisiting IHMR after a decade

I am at IHMR, Jaipur. For the first time, I am here to teach for the program that I passed out ten years ago. This place has indeed played an important role in my life and career. It was like a launching pad for me. The time I spent here transformed me from a slightly arrogant listless person to a keen learner and a sensible youth. Various faculties taught may things and different friends helped the process of grooming. For a person coming from a small town of Gujarat, this was nothing less than going abroad, especially when one has not even travelled out of state or has not had any long train journey too till 25 years of age. There was no one to speak to in one’s own mother tongue and, most of the fellow classmates were younger by 3-5 years. All that added to isolation and arrogance. However, the two years during 2001-03 involved lot of churning, destruction and construction, learning and unlearning. And, there I was moving out of the institute a better person in 2003.

Ten years and I am again here to teach. One’s alma mater is a special place in one’s personal and professional life. However, over a time, one’s perspective changes and with that come changes in views and perception, and ability to critique. This institute, which looked a stalwart and faculty which appeared world class then, start ‘normalizing’ after few years of passing out and being part of the ‘real-world’. A few more years and one starts appreciating oneself more and tends to understand oneself in context of being a professional and not only an alumnus. It is then that one starts evaluating one’s alma mater critically. I too have lived these stages over last ten years. The ego of a listless youth that melted away then, started reappearing in a ‘professional’, which has developed sense and ability of critiquing things, ideas and people. So, I was invited to teach at IHMR, I felt sense of pride and also had flashes of how I have evolved and how IHMR has been over last decade.

But, when I am sitting here in library waiting for my class to start and writing this, my ego starts melting again. These tall stone-made walls all over again remind me of my tiny-self, as against the entirety. Of course, I have moved upwards and forwards over time, have learned a lot and also have contributed a bit here and there. However, this is the time to remind to remind myself of the fact that there were many more and better people than me, both professionally and personally. They too have learnt and contributed and have moved on too. While I was thinking of how institute have changed and started critiquing how it could have had done it better, the walls reappeared with it renewed teaching for me. It reminded me that my ability to critique must not inculcate superiority in my self-assessment. I was reminded of the fact that this ability is more like a diagnostic ability; such competence is not unique to me and hundreds are diagnosing such issues day in and day out. While I have moved on and moved up since the day I left this place, there are many more that have moved farther and higher than me.

This building, this premise and its vibes are indeed special. It has instilled in me two important values that have been helping my personal and professional betterment. These values are – self-belief and humility. Both are equally important and crucial for overall betterment process called life.  I am glad I visited the institute again now. I seem to have regained both these values, something I started to lose lately.